CNN Coming soon to a theater near you, we hope.
The presidential election is the strangest, scariest, funniest story of the year — and it even runs a lot longer than anything you can binge watch on Netflix. After November, TV networks and talk show hosts and all your coworkers will be scrambling to fill the conversational void left by the end of this apocalyptic sitcom.
So once the dust is settled and we're still wondering what the hell happened to this country in the past year, we know what's soon on the way: The first feature film about the 2016 race. Aaron Sorkin is probably pitching it to HBO right as we speak.
This campaign is perfect fodder for an ensemble drama with "Oscar" written all over it, even if the truth in this case is way weirder than fiction ever could be. To get a head start, the Daily News has some casting suggestions for our dream movie about this political nightmare. All of the performers listed here can thank us later, once the awards roll in.
HILLARY CLINTON CARRIES HOT SAUCE WITH HER LIKE BEYONCE[1]
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(For the record, we're only talking about the principals here. But just to add to our list our stars, remember how many small roles here — Scott Walker, Martin O'Malley, Paul Ryan — are ripe for cameos.)
Starring as Donald Trump: Alec Baldwin.
Donald Trump
Clearly the most important role in the movie — he's the Hannibal Lecter, the Joker of the whole story. And there is no one better suited for portraying The Donald as Alec Baldwin, whose entire life might as well be considered an audition for this role. He's one of few actors who bears a strong resemblance to Trump, and one of the few who could match the blabbering billionaire himself for furious New York attitude.
Once Baldwin gets fired from the role, Leonardo DiCaprio could cut it as well, so long as he's weighed down in even more aging makeup than he had in "J. Edgar." This would secure his second Oscar, and showing up every day to play Trump would make "The Revenant" look like a beach vacation.
HUSTLER'S LARRY FLYNT POKES DONALD TRUMP WITH PORN PARODY[2]
As a side note: If Philip Seymour Hoffman was still alive, he'd be a top choice, since his bombastic huckster in "The Master" is about one step away from Trump. And remember the hair!
Glenn Close is our pick for Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton
There are two perfect choices, and we'd be more than happy with either: Meryl Streep and Glenn Close. Pick your prestige. Close gets the advantage since Streep already snagged an Oscar as Margaret Thatcher in "The Iron Lady."
For Bernie Sanders, Larry Davis is obvious. How about Robert De Niro?
Bernie Sanders
All together now — Larry David.
But it's no fun if it's too obvious, so let's consider Robert de Niro, who could certainly use a good role these days anyway. He's played ranting and raving New Yorkers for so long that his turn as the Bern would be a Scorsese-level performance.
One of the few actors who could work as Ted Cruz is Brian Baumgartner, best known from "The Office."
Ted Cruz
The hardest part of casting this masterpiece movie is finding an actor who looks like Ted Cruz. With some work, Brian Baumgartner, best known as Kevin in "The Office," is the man for the job, right down to his bumbling sense of humor. One comedian already capitalized[3] on their likeness at a Cruz rally.
The only other man would be Kevin Spacey, who's already getting presidential as Richard Nixon in the upcoming "Elvis & Nixon." Spacey likened his "House of Cards" character Frank Underwood to Trump, but hey, why not stretch your range?
For John Kasich: Gary Sinise.
John Kasich
Hello, Gary Sinise. The "Forrest Gump" star is not only a spitting image of the Ohio governor, but in real life he's a die-hard Republican, and what better way to take one for the team than taking on Kasich?
If Sinise says no: Luke Wilson.
If Wilson says no, remember, other actors: This role comprises little more than scarfing down massive meals.
Speaking of which...
Chris Christie could be played by "The Sopranos" star Steve Schirripa.
Chris Christie
Many actors could match his physique, but only Jack Black matches the New Jersey governor's natural scowl of arrogance.
For a more menacing Christie, should we need a Bridgegate flashback for whatever reason, let's get Steve Schirripa, a.k.a. Bobby Baccalieri on "The Sopranos," to step in.
Marco Rubio played by Zac Efron. Think about it.
Marco Rubio
This role will be a big break for Zac Efron. For one thing, Rubio and Efron both supposedlylove[4] EDM[5].Plus, Efron has seemed completely out of his depth in every drama he's starred in — meaning he's a natural for this one.
Otherwise, consider Matt Damon — the actor himself, or at least his monosyllabic "Team America" puppet, the ideal choice for Robot Rubio.
Ben Carson was portrayed by Cuba Gooding Jr. in the TV movie "Gifted Hands." How about a reprise?
Ben Carson
Not enough people know that Cuba Gooding Jr. already portrayed the nonsense neurosurgeon, in the TV movie "Gifted Hands," and Gooding's welcome to reprise the role. But we'd love to see a grayed-up, mellowed-out Don Cheadle making it his own.
American Psychos: Corey Lewandowski and Christian Bale.
Corey Lewandowski
Trump's hotheaded top goon is the only campaign manager worthy of his own starring role here, and it takes one American Psycho to portray another — Christian Bale.
Meanwhile, Michael Keaton is a few years too old, but he's a Lewandowski doppelganger, and his antsy manner makes him a suitable sidekick for the Trump leading man.
jsilverstein@nydailynews.com[6]
References
- ^ HILLARY CLINTON CARRIES HOT SAUCE WITH HER LIKE BEYONCE (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ HUSTLER'S LARRY FLYNT POKES DONALD TRUMP WITH PORN PARODY (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ already capitalized (www.youtube.com)
- ^ love (www.google.com)
- ^ EDM (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ jsilverstein@nydailynews.com (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ 2016 election (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ aaron sorkin (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ donald trump (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ alec baldwin (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ leonardo dicaprio (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ philip seymour hoffman (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ hillary clinton (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ meryl streep (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ glenn close (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ bernie sanders (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ larry david (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ robert de niro (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ ted cruz (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ kevin spacey (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ john kasich (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ gary sinise (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ luke wilson (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ chris christie (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ jack black (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ steve schirripa (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ marco rubio (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ zac efron (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ matt damon (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ ben carson (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ cuba gooding jr. (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ don cheadle (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ christian bale (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ michael keaton (www.nydailynews.com)
Source → Who�s going to play the presidential candidates in the movie about the 2016 race? Check out this dream cast
