Frankly, my dear, AMC doesn't give a damn what you do in their movie theaters.
The destruction of society marched on Thursday, as the new CEO of AMC said he is tossing around the idea of making the company's theaters more texting-friendly.
"We need to reshape our product in some concrete ways so that millennials go to movie theaters with the same degree of intensity as baby boomers went to movie theaters throughout their lives," Adam Aron told Variety[1].
It's just the beginning.
AMC CONSIDERS MOBILE-FRIENDLY MOVIE THEATERS FOR MILLENNIALS[2]
aerogondo/iStock/Getty The destruction of society marched on Thursday, as the new CEO of AMC said he is tossing around the idea of making the company's theaters more texting-friendly.
In the near future, going to the movies might be more risky than trying to illegally torrent the latest box-office hit without breaking your three-year old laptop that doesn't work anyway.
If we don't put down the cell phones, maybe AMC will start allowing the following things to happen in theaters:
Remote controls for everyone
It'll be just like trying to watch TV in the same room as your grandparents: bathroom breaks every 15 minutes, deafing volume, constant pausing to ask what is going on.
And rewinding. Lot's of rewinding.
Microwavable salmon dinners
Robert Koopmans/iStock/Getty In the near future, going to the movies might be more risky than trying to illegally torrent the latest box-office hit without breaking your three-year old laptop that doesn't work anyway.
Hate that person in your office who heats up fish in the 15 square-foot kitchen every day at noon?
You may have your headphones in all day at work to avoid co-workers, but there's no escaping that stench.
AMC will try this out for the health conscious, weeks before they start offering liver, fava beans and chianti.
Butter dispensers on every chair
This would truly transform the moive-going experience.
Instead of walking over crunchy popcorn kernels, people would be falling in the aisles.
Larry Crowe/ASSOCIATED PRESS Butter dispensers on every chair would truly transform the moive-going experience.
And honestly, if there's one thing Americans love more than cell phones, and sitting down for 90 minutes on end in the dark, it's unhealthy food.
Showtime dancer performances
Lights, camera, "It's Showtime!"
What better venue is there for every New Yorker's "favorite" dancers than literally in front of the big screen while you're trying to watch a movie?
Bebeto Matthews/AP At least the quarters aren't as close as on the subway cars, so chances of getting kicked in the face are slimmer.
At least the quarters aren't as close as on the subway cars, so chances of getting kicked in the face are slimmer.
People will still flinch uncontrollably though. And thanks to AMC, you'll still be able to stare at your cell phone to ignore the dancers.
Stale pizza slices for the adorable rats to feed on
Rats and other vermin outnumber New Yorkers by an alarming amount, so they can get in on the fun too.
While trying not to slip on the excess butter on the floor, the most dangerous obstacle will be accidentally running into subway-sized rats trying to chow down on a slice.
And it'll shift your focus from what the obnoixous person sitting next to you is doing on their phone to what in God's name is running around beneath you.
Alcohol (BYOB)
AMC is already halfway there.
The company has dine-in theaters that offer "classy" meals and hard beverages.
Haraz Ghanbari/AP Give the people what they really want, AMC. Make it a BYOB party.
Well, give the people what they really want. Make it a BYOB party, so adults can drink however much Four Loko their hearts desire while the kids watch the latest Pixar film.
Naturally, this would make the token emotional Pixar scene that much more tear-enducing.
Standing room only section
Maybe these ideas all become a reality and it's a huge hit for AMC, in which case there won't be enough space for movie lovers in theaters anymore.
References
- ^ Adam Aron told Variety (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ AMC CONSIDERS MOBILE-FRIENDLY MOVIE THEATERS FOR MILLENNIALS (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ nparco@nydailynews.com (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ lists (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ news break (www.nydailynews.com)
- ^ technology (www.nydailynews.com)
Source → Forget cell phones, here�s how AMC can really ruin the movie theater-going experience in New York City
