How do you celebrate Valentine's Day?
Does the thought of sitting through another stock rom-com make you physically ill? Does blood-curdling horror sound like a sweet escape in the wake of mounting consumerist pressures to prove your love for a special someone? Do you not have a special someone?
If your answer to any of those questions was a resounding "Yaaaaaaas," a church mother pew wave, an affirmative punctuated by an expletive or any combination thereof, then this is the guide for you. In lieu of romantic comedies, please allow us to present an alternative option to get you through the looming holiday: Horror films.
From serial murderers prowling around in the protective cloak of anonymity to demonic spirits scourging unsuspecting families (who maybe shouldn't have moved into a decrepit house in the middle of nowhere anyway), these films have all the dramatic tension needed to keep your heart pounding this Valentine's Day.
(Warning: This contains minor spoilers!)
1. Halloween (1978)
Sure, the 1978 classic has spawned numerous iterations over the years, but none are quite as hair-raising as the original. The film opens with the ghastly backstory that first landed the infamous Michael Myers in a mental hospital, and traces the institutional failures that resulted in his deadly release.
Dr. Sam Loomis: I met him 15 years ago. I was told there was nothing left — no reason, no conscience, no understanding, and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... evil.
2. Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)
An ambitious ode to Hitchcock, Alfred Sole's low-budget feature spares no expense when it comes to psychological (war)fare. Alice, Sweet Alice centers around mercurial 12-year-old Alice Spages, her beloved 9-year-old sister, Karen, and their mother, Catherine. The film follows Alice's festering jealousy toward her sister as well as a disorienting series of events following her sister's gruesome murder the day of her first holy communion.
Mrs. Tredoni: Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
Father Tom: We're only hearing the children this morning.
Mrs. Tredoni: ... Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
3. The Shining (1980)
Talk about cabin fever. After the Torrance family is trapped in a hotel by a snowstorm, gifted writer and aspiring family man Jack begins to unravel before his wife and child's very eyes, eventually descending into madness, precipitated by his own inner demons and the tormented spirits that haunt the hotel's halls.
Jack Torrance: [typing] All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
4. Oculus (2013)
Stream it on Netflix[2] or Amazon[3].
If this unique feature proved anything, it's that you don't need an exorbitant amount of blood and gore to unnerve viewers. In fact, all you need is a little imagination and a mirror. The movie, which focuses on siblings Kaylie and Tim Russell, follows the brother-sister pair as they confront a possessed antique and attempt to destroy the supernatural force that robbed them of their childhood.
Kaylie Russell: I found it!
Tim Russell: What do you mean?
Kaylie Russell: We only have few days.
Tim Russell: A few days for what?
Kaylie Russell: To keep our promise. And kill it.
5. The Conjuring (2013)
Patience is a virtue, and a requisite for James Wan's supernatural horror film. The critically-acclaimed flick relies on a gradual build, slowly signaling to the demons that haunt the Perron family's newly-purchased farmhouse until paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren finally spotlight them.
Ed Warren: Diabolical forces are formidable. These forces are eternal, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges upon which one we elect to follow.
Have other suggestions? Tell us in the comment section below.
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